last night's dream

So I had another LOST dream last night. And it told me the ending of the show; therefore, I have found my theory on LOST.

So in the Temple, if you go further in, you'll find a waterfall. Upon riding down this waterfall, there was a huge waterpark. It had a lazy river, tube slides, and, of course, a wave pool. And the numbers/names in Jacob's cave stood for the "candidates" for the new waterpark owner. Sawyer ended up becoming the new owner. Plus, everyone who died had simply reincarnated at the park. So Sawyer was reunited with Juliet, and even better, Hurley reunited with Libby!

Sounds about right.

Joie de Vivre? My life as a spectator

I look at the people of my generation, and I envy them for all they've accomplished. They've created; they've traveled; they've seen and experienced exponentially more than I have.

Why?

I am a spectator. I sit on the side and watch as everyone experiences their lives. I listen to their stories, with none of my own to contribute. I watch them as they do great things, while they become notable members of society. I sit in awe as they experience every emotion possible; every emotion I've suppressed in myself. Every day of their lives seems to be an adventure; everyday is literally something new.

My life, on the other hand, is monotonous.

I don't go out. I don't experience or create. I don't even let myself feel. Because I am too damn scared. I afraid of my potential (or lack thereof). I'm afraid of failure, so I don't even try. I'm afraid of people, so I don't cultivate substantial relationships. I'm afraid of the world outside, the world I don't know anything about, so I don't allow myself to wander too far.

I'm restless, but my fear strongly forces me back. I'm too afraid to live, so I let other people do it for me.

I am invisible to most people. Not because they don't see me, but because I don't want to be seen.

It's probably better that way.

*edit*

It is damn near impossible to change 22+ years of social ineptitude.

V-Day: This is not another Anti-Valentine's Day post

No, I'm not the bitter person who complains that she hates Valentine's Day because it's a corporate holiday created by Hallmark and candy companies to make money between Christmas and Easter. We all know those people only say that because they're single (which is ridiculous). Single is just a label; enjoy your freedom.

Instead, I'm experiencing not bitterness but "blueness" this Valentine's Day season. What is so unique about February 14 that it forces people to express their love (this can also apply to anniversaries)?

My specific complaint is that love should be celebrated everyday. People should put 110% effort into making their significant other feel loved all the time. Going over and beyond the call of relationship duty should be a daily endeavor. Relationships don't work on the occasional reminder of devotion, or the grand gesture when things are on the rocks. Relationships thrive on the little things, like thanking your SO for a small favor or showing up out of the blue to say hi.

So if you really love someone, you love them all day, everyday. And if you want your SO to feel it, express it all the time, instead of when you're supposed to.

Yes, I am a feminist but....

I think all women (and men) should watch this video. I was literally moved to tears. This women (Eve Ensler, who started the Vagina Monologues) is doing amazing work with girls all over the world. She is absolutely my hero, and I can only hope to be half the woman she is.